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Scene I: A Willow tree on the top of an oval hillock. The world of vertebrate life continued quadrupedal, the seeming deviations therefrom being rather apparent than real. Suddenly a true biped appeared, a highly intellectual animal, an extraordinary deviation from the established course of organic development, instantly freeing up the anterior limbs for tasks other than locomotion.

Ape-man: This piece of wood seems to be shaped in a funny way, the top end thicker than the bottom. Ha Ha. Maybe I can round off the bottom of it a bit so its easier to grip with my non-walking limb.

[starts to violently rub the bottom end of a piece of large fallen branch against a rough stone surface, while a tiny cricket like insect darts away from the remaining foliage. This singular act is known to have sparked off the invention of both the hand held club or baton, and the abrasive filing tool at the same time. By the time he finishes, a glint of moonlight shines upon his bipedal outline and his new carved club]

Other-Ape-man: What good will that dead branch do?

[Ape-man demonstrates]

Other-Ape-man: Ouch, that ****ing hurt!

[Falls to ground clutching lower abdomen, as the stimuli of pain gradually arrives at the brain through newly evolved circuits. Eventually recovers, and gets up]

Cool. Lets go bash someone else!

[Before going off to bash others, Ape-man and Other-Ape-man practice the fine skill of swinging-the-club by devising a highly methodical and coherent set of basic rules:

1. Other-Ape-man hurls fist-size stone at Ape-man from a short distance away.

2. If the Ape-man is able to strike the stone with the wooden club, he is rewarded by gaining the permission to run over to Other-Ape-man and pound the club full-swing into the Other-Ape-man's lower abdomen, and then run back to his original position.

3. If the Ape-man misses hitting the stone, the Other-Ape-man now runs over to the Ape-man with the club, snatches his club, grunts in disgust, and wallops him on the lower abdomen. A role reversal occurs at this point, and Other-Ape-man then awaits Ape-man to recover to the point of being able to hurl stones.

4. If the Ape-man misses hitting the stone and the stone hits him instead, the Other-Ape-man again runs over to the Ape-man with the club, snatches his club, grunts in disgust, and wallops him on the lower abdomen. A role reversal occurs.

5. Since counting to six hadn't been invented, they continue adhering to the above rules until one learns the subtle art of club-swinging and/or the other dies trying.

6. Later on, spectator ape-men were allowed to fetch the stone and return it to the stone thrower, and often rewarded when they could catch it before the stone bounched.

Note: The art of stone throwing or fetching wasn't considered an art form until much later

[These early creatures gradually migrated to other grasslands as the dense forestation receded, and by the sheer might of their swinging-club, conquered other ape-men and instilled in them the love of club-swinging. Those who didn't succumb, eventually died out of a strange fracture to their pelvic bones, which fossil records from that period strangely don't show]

Scene II: The Oval, on a small wet island. Enter Stone-Thrower, Club-Swinger, Fetchers, Empire, crowds and commentators.

The former colonies that successfully aped the game of ODI Cricket (Oh Dear Its Cricket) have been the masters of the game for some time now, particularly the formal penal colony of Australia. In the middle of the Oval grounds, a rectangular dirt patch has been marked out for performers. The final over is on, and 2 rounded, hard red objects left to throw. The designated Club-Swinger and his team needs seven runnaways to score a victory.

Stone-Thrower: Uhh! [Hurtling red object, after an amusing little run till the Empire dressed in white]

Club-Swinger: Ahh! [Hitting red object high and towards the crowds lining the field boundary, and preparing to stand in a smart posture leaning on his Willow branch before the red object lands]

[Red object lands amongst crowd]

Fetchers: [In unison] ****.

[Swarming crowds cheer, Empire throws up arms, Stone-Thrower grunts in disgust, uncontrollable pride gushes through Club-Swinger and hence raises his Willow branch in acknowledgment, commentators discuss trajectory of red object using sophisticated computing equipment, and feet pre-positioning tactics of Club-Swinger. The media will wallop the Stone-Thrower a little later. Everyone awaits the next and final rounded red object to be thrown. The media will also wallop the Club-Swinger if he misses to hit this]

Scene III : [Deleted due to utter waste of space]

Scene IV: [Deleted due to utter waste of time]

Addendum: In 1912 a portion of a fossil elephant femur was reportedly discovered at East Sussex, England (Piltdown Man). At a Geological Society of London meeting shortly after, a scientist rose to state that "he could not imagine any use for an implement that looked like part of a cricket bat." He further believed in the possibility "of the bone having been found and whittled in recent times." For over 40 years, scientists preferred to believe that the object was a genuine paleolithic tool, though no one could assign it a plausible function. Today, its known that the Piltdown Man was largely a hoax, one of the grandest in history in fact. More of this here.

Reverse cultural colonization

The attainment of power, whether political, economic or otherwise, always appears to guarantee a global audience and make gradual cultural colonization seemingly effortless in its aftermath. History has numerous examples.

Inspired by India's steadily booming and globally influential economy, acclaimed filmmaker Shekhar Kapur thinks that the time is ripe for what he terms a "reverse cultural colonization". Last September, he along with author Deepak Chopra and a Virgin Comics team of extremely talented artists based out of Bangalore joined hands with just this intent. This partnership led to the creation of a highly stylistic re-packaging of a 5000 year old Indian legend recast in a post-apocalyptic setting. A legend that has been the bedrock of India's cultural identity for centuries.

Ramayan 3392 A.D. is what its called. A cursory glance at some of the pages and artwork that have been released on the internet, and I was pretty impressed. In my opinion, it might just be a timely, worthy and refreshing re-telling for a whole new generation, and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy. Especially since the earlier hugely popular "original" Doordarshan TV version had assaulted my senses so seriously, that I was displaying suicidal tendencies in an effort to remain very dooor from this epidemic Ram-darshan.

Commenting on a similar India Authentic series of comics that aims to depict the the entire pantheon of Hindu deities, Deepak Chopra remarked that...

"The re-imagination of Indian mythologies and archetypes with a cross cultural flavor will ignite once again our collective yearning for achieving the impossible and embarking on a journey of mystery, magic, and adventure. It may well usher in an age that Homer never dreamed of."

Ambitious words, even for a spiritual guru. Lord Ram (or Rama as he is also interchangeably referred to) and his projected career path reminds me a lot of Thor, the Nordic God of Thunder. Mighty Thor's little stint at Marvel comics, did him a world of good.

Comics, have in general proved themselves to be an effective cultural delivery mechanism. I am inclined to believe Shekhar Kapur, in that the time is indeed ripe, and in fact, Ramayan 3392 A.D. seems to be doing quite well in the occident (Even accounting for the multitude of NRI's that can corrupt and disfigure any statistics gathered on the global reach of Indian influences). What might give this an added lift locally, is if our friendly neighborhood cultural police find something offensive within all this comic-ry, protest and then quietly step back after boosting its publicity.

Is someone going to burn an effigy of the creators soon, or do I have to start it off by complaining about the particularly immoral hue of blue that they used on Ram's skin?

No, ...wait. I hear they've allowed for a minor conflict to develop between Ram and Lakshman in their storyline, damaging our hitherto uncorrupted tradition of sibling bonding. And since my grandmother told me that that wasn't so in the original version, I rest my case.

Who buried my fossils?

In another amusing instance of showcasing its collective ignorance and dogmatic thinking, creationism seems to be making a comeback along the American Bible belt with the opening of a multi-million dollar creation museum in Kentucky recently. This, along with the gaining popularity of a book claiming that the Grand Canyon was carved by the retreating waters of the biblical Noah's flood rather than by natural erosion, are once again extending the heated debate between creationists and evolutionists.

Theres no telling how much more time it will take for mainstream consciousness to understand that whatever it is, the Theory of Intelligent Design (ID) can not be a science because its not falsifiable. Falsifiability, is a critical feature of scientific hypothesis and can be simplistically thought of as an inherent disclaimer stating that a given hypothesis or theory is only true, until proven false. An embodiment of rationality, it says: attack me with facts and I am ready to change in whatever way to accommodate those facts. Just being called a 'theory', doesn't give it instant membership to the science club. The Falsifiability card has been played against ID hugging creationists for some time now, but they seem to be coming up with more mightier yet sillier propositions as their grip gradually loosens.

Ironically, prominent voices of science from the past century have been guilty at times of decorating the frontiers of scientific advancement with some divine creationist references (i.e. Quantum Mechanics - God does not play dice, Cosmology - understanding the mind of God, etc), often viewed as aspirational and conformist by the creationists. The tables have now turned, and it seems like we've completely entered the age where the creationists boldly reference terms and methods of science in their interpretation of scripture.

I wonder, if and when science survives this, what is the real price that we'll have to pay as we watch this lengthy battle unfold, apart from the occasional insane attempts to bury back the fossils?

What's Left is yours

Today happens to be the 30th year anniversary of one of the worlds longest running, uninterrupted socio-economic experiments:

How to run a self-contained communist administration within the framework of a democratic government, and evolve itself by a gradual selective assimilation of capitalist intent.

Confrontations and constraints have been many, yet India's eastern state of West Bengal continues this experiment by the most original methods that would probably make Comrade Lenin a touch uncomfortable. However, it can be argued that though communism is considered dead in theory, this particular Bengali flavour of it might give way to a reincarnated version that still adamantly clings on to its earlier name. Perhaps past associations pose a risk lurking here somewhere.

So if you were red and a revolutionist at heart and suddenly found yourself eyeing that man with the briefcase, what can you start to call yourself? Would the name matter?

Old lady of Indian skies

Responding to the recent Indian Airlines (IA) strike, the civil aviation ministry said in a statement that "The strike will cause distress to a large number of passengers, apart form being detrimental to the financial condition and image of the company''

Oh, really? I hadn't thought of that.

Upon hearing of this strike by IA (now renamed 'Indian'), one can't help but immediately visualize sari-clad distressed stewardesses with brightly painted lips comfortably seated in the airport halls with tiffin-boxes by their side, and sharing tales of their grandchildren, occasionally waving a little white banner of protest. In this case, it seems cabin baggage handlers and ground support staff didn't show up for work at all.

In a way, the strike might benefit a greater number of people, and I fully support the protesters, despite the fact the Delhi High Court termed it illegal - Instead of dying the uncertain, slow, painful death that this airline seemed to be destined for, the protesters efforts will erode their already dwindling market share much more quicker, and ensure a natural, faster and final end to this winged misery. In effect, bringing relief to a lot of would-be passengers, spared from IA's renowned service-with-a-grunt and general inefficiency.

This is also a much better way of going, than by being blamed for any major air-disaster as a direct result of having budgeted more on flawed PR strategies, than on critical airline safety measures. Lets hope recent incidents such as these, aren't indicative of this trend.

Too bad that they happen to be our national airlines though.

Source: Strike a windfall for low-cost carriers, Times of India

Search for the God particle

During a 2005 Q&A session with Nobel Laureate, Leon Lederman, Fermilab scientist Peter Skands points out that "if the Higgs boson exists, and if it is the way the Standard Model predicts it to be, then it must have a mass greater than 114 GeV". More recently there have been experimental indicators that the mass of the Higgs Boson could lie in the region 155-180 GeV (Giga electron Volt). But then this increased speculative mass is often rather unfairly seen as an attempt to garner funding for larger (higher energy) particle accelerators, capable of detecting higher mass particles.

Repeated attempts have so far failed to find this much sought after and elusive particle. There is a general consensus among physicists that anyone associated with the possible finding of this particle is assured a Nobel Prize.

Dubbed 'The God particle' and 'The Holy Grail of particle physics', the Higgs boson is a hypothesised particle which, if it exists, would give the mechanism by which particles acquire mass, thereby affirming the best theory that physicist's have today to explain the origin of mass. It is safe to say, that if it does not exist, it would shake the foundations of theoretical physics to an extent that new interactions, fields and laws that bind them may need to be conjured up. So in a way, its absence may be as valuable for us as its presence.

There is a rumour going around right now, that the Higgs Boson may have been found by Tevatron physicists working on the D0 (pronounced D-Zero) experiment at Fermilab, Batavia near Chicago, USA.

There have been optimistic articles about observed 'bumps' in the data before, so we'll have to wait and watch to see if the current evidence from the Tevatron D0 data holds up, amidst the clutter of data from competing labs.